An ode to The Surprised Astronomer.

[edcrater]

[I hope the Moderator will allow this as "light relief" in these desperate times.]

As we stand on the abyss, overlooking the cataclysm at the end of the world, it's time to say sorry to the world for the mess, and to accept our fate. "Astronomers know" that this is best achieved by creating limericks.

The Surprised Astronomer.

He's a hapless chap who's as clear as mud
He observes every night, and as he should
Poring over dark matter
As mad as a hatter
""In ways not yet fully understood!""

When presented with how planets spawned
He reacted with anger, and scorned
You cannot have fission!
And said in addition
""But we're scratching our heads how they're formed!""

He found solar wind in the sky
With an ammeter that was sent high
He said with disdain
It's particle rain!
""I just can't believe this is why!""

He didn't know that electricity was key
And that chain-craters fit that to a tee
He said it was impact
So don't make me retract
""This was very surprising to me!""

He argued that rilles couldn't do
What we showed in the lab that was true
He thought that it's rather
Er....um...large tubes of lava?
""But the process - we haven't a clue!""

No surprise that he's always amiss
And we're right in taking the piss
It must be inflation
Or nebularation
""We weren't expecting anything like this!""

To our stargazer we say that, in short
We thank you for giving us some sport
In mocking your soul
We revel in our role
And it's time that you got plasma taught!

[junglelord]

I like it, well done.


Is that yours?

[Divinity]

I love this, Ed, thank you!

[edcrater]

Is that yours?

Not sure what u mean but if it is:
Did I write it? Yes
Do I possess it? No! It's for everybody. Please send to every astronomer you know!

[Tzunamii]

I love em
In fact, I find em inspiring!
---

Another unseen dynamo,
Dont believe it? You must be a Schmo!
Our Grants you wont Rob, Cause you wont get a job,
Unless you meet Our status quo~!

[edcrater]

I find em inspiring!

Great! Everybody please join in. All together now ......

[edcrater]

Another unseen dynamo,
Dont believe it? You must be a Schmo!
Our Grants you wont Rob, Cause you wont get a job,
Unless you meet Our status quo~!

I can add a verse:

When your dynamo just will not show
And your toroid seems made out of dough
Try faking the readings
And publish in "Proceedings"
Cos bluffing makes it look like you know!

[substance]

Pretty good! Someone should post this in BAUT and quote the reactions their reactions. Every time I read it for some reason in a"Metallica - For whom the bell tolls" tone. I guess they can make a song out of this! Not that they don`t have astronomy experience."Metallica - astronomy" anyone?